The Spoiled Brat Comes Out

Okay...

I feel guilty.

Now for those of you who know me, you guys know that I still live with my folks and that my dad is a little strict at times. You may also know that he'd probably move heaven and earth to give me whatever I want if I ask for it. Yes I am spoiled.

I grew up under a strict household with a lot of rules, but on the same token, my dad spoiled me like crazy. I have my own car, which is actually the family's but I ALWAYS have it. Which means it's pretty much mine. It's registered under my dad's name, but I drive it, I pay the gas, but he pays the insurance every month. He's never asked for me to pay anything more.

If I needed something....boom-- he gets it for me. I once told him that my computer harddrive wasn't loading up properly and he offers to give me his brand new PC. No joke.

Last year, when I asked for my dad's credit card to pay for my textbooks because mine was maxed out, he took my credit card and paid it off.

He did the same thing the year before. I maxed out my credit card twice, and he bailed me out...twice.

Now let me just make this clear, that I NEVER ask him to do any of this. Usually, I want to take care of my own problems because I feel extremely guilty when he helps me. Plus, I don't like to feel like he's got a hold over me, and that I owe him somehow. I've often told my friends that it's incredible that I haven't turned out to be a completly spoiled brat who whines if something isn't handed to me whenever I ask for it. In fact, I've always been proud that I turned out okay....

Until today.

My dad asked for something. One thing. Something he wanted to borrow from me for his trip overseas. It was nothing...yet I snapped. It was something for my iPod. Poor mom...she was the messenger.

"Why does dad want it?"

"I don't know! He just wants to borrow it for his trip!"

"But what on earth would he want it for? It's only made for an iPod. There's only one use for it. You can only use this if you have an iPod."

"Look, why don't you just ask him. He just wants to borrow it."

"But how can he possibly use it?!? You can only use this if you have an iPod!!! Does he have an iPod mom?! Huh? Tell does he have an iPod?!?!

That's when my mom just walked away from me with her arms up in the air as if to say "I give up".

That's also when I felt a surge of guilt running through me, and the shame of letting the spoiled brat in me seep through. Almost simultaneously, a flash of other similar incidents in the past came rushing back like a bad dream. Like the time my dad asked to borrow my portable speakers for his mp3 player to bring for this trip but I didn't let him take them because I wanted to use it at work. Or the cold, and silent attitude I would give him whenever he'd politely interrupt whatever I was doing on my computer so he could check his email when his computer wasn't working. Or the time he did my taxes for me, and I was being rude, ungrateful, and adament about the cheque being mine.

These images flashed through my head in an instant. And in that same instant...I don't recall the last time where I've hated myself more.

Sometimes you just need a good slap in the face to remind you that you shouldn't take your life for granted. Life's too short to worry about the little things, and you should be grateful for the people in your life that care about you.

Living in such a materialistic world often blinds me from the things that matter the most.